Maybe it was all the drinks I had or maybe some of her free-thinking had started to rub off of me but I said, "My dear, we don't ask questions like that here in the civilized south. Instead we ask things like, when was the last time you saw Old man Johnson or gone sailing. Anyway, it has been about five months now." You mean you haven't had sex...I mean had a cruise in five months!? See I'm learning," she said laughing."I see that, my dear," I said in a reassuring toned. "Well the captain of the ship can't seem to get the anchor up and he refuses to go into the dry dock to get it check out."Alexis looked down at her glass and took a sip. She thought for a long time. I knew her little brain was struggling to think of something to say. Then a big grin came over her face."Well why don't you have the first mate take the ship out without the captain?" she asked while she wiggled her fingers at me.I showed my fingers back at Alexis. "My first mate is a little too short to reach the bowels. A small one, well secured, so that only voices can carry, no bigger then the tip of a finger, not that I'm sticking mine in. I hear screaming and whispers of evil but that is to be expected... It is a gate to hell we are talking about here. I call into the portal "I wish to be a better lover, is there anyone on the other side willing to give advise?" A loud deep base voice speaks back "I can do you one better, I can grant your wish... for a price." "What is this price Demon of hell" He laughs and I could almost swear the world shook when he did "Nothing much just a small favor and I'd even give you a few gifts to get the job done. All you must do is swear to me, in my name, that you'll do it and those gift will be yours." sounds almost too good to be true "what is your name then?" He chuckles giving me an unsettled feeling "My name is Satan, mortal one" I swear I can see him grin though the portal is too small for that.I pause a moment and consider that I am speaking to THE Devil.
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